Tag: memories

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A-Z

Hi you all. I’m still on my little break, so please be patient with me while I’m taking my time to catch up with all your lovely posts that I actually miss reading.
Soon!

Abandoned
bodies of the past
cripple
days of my
enjoyment. They
fiddle with my memories,
gathering all of them in one
house of disappointment.
Irrational decisions,
juvenile actions, like a flight of a
kite –
lingering above, but not worth
mentioning, yet
not easy to be forgotten.
Obscene images
pirouette in front of my eyes,
queueing up in
rows and rows, forming
silent movies,
that
undress my soul bare.
Vendettas and revenges
whip their angry fangs at me,
XII hours of regret, while you
yell “help” in the
zenith of our broken life.

– Chatty Owl –

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BOUNDARIES

Yes.
I eavesdrop,
and like a bird of prey,
I watch you from afar.
I sieve your glances
through the filter of my liking,
making judgments,
wondering,
if I’m still present in your cup of tea.
I know how you take it.
Still.
Your day is beautiful with chaos,
while my mind is beautiful with you.
I feel my thoughts leaving
my
fingertips sometimes,
in a form of hasty written words,
but I never regret those escapees –
they have been held prisoners
for so long.
I’m invisible.
Untraceable by your senses.
I undress my soul for you
as I watch you reveal your body.
We are naked,
on opposite sides of the fence,
that none of us erected,
so in a way..
we are both
within the reach of a hand,
yet unloved
by each other.

– Chatty Owl –

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COLOUR OF YOUR VOICE

I miss the colour of your words.
They used to taste like a rainbow,
but floated around
like a nighttime bug
and
turned to dust when touched
by lips of mine.
I swallowed your abc’s
like a bait –
with an enthusiastic passion.
I daydream about you,
your soft voice
and accent, foreign to my ears –
it’s to die for.
I told you once
and I’ll say it again –
you can read
a fridge manual out loud
and I’ll still get sticky wet
just by
listening to you.
Have I told you
that I imagine your hands
in between my legs,
when I read some
random famous poetry
and I burn bridges to my past,
so that you
are the only memory
for me.
I’ve never met you,
nor I ever will,
but my heart belongs to you.

So does my body.
Come, abuse them both.

– Chatty Owl –

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EARLY TOMORROW MORNING

You asked me,
if I enjoy
admiring the boredom of the room,
and this is how I knew,
that my indifference bothers you.
Sharing sheets for one night
is as much fun as
is borrowing the identity
of someone else
for a day,
but I’m not into stealing
fake emotions,
unless they are red
and
in a shape of a heart that I’m after.
Light-hearted sentences
land quietly on my neck,
tickling my cheekbones,
and this curved view of me
promises you a night
of no-taboo passion.
Here,
on the borrowed scent
of
your clean linen.
A glass in my hand
becomes a glass on the floor
because of a graceful twist
that I deliberately faked,
for I know,
how infatuated your mind gets
watching me
bend
for
you
this
way.
You always act like a gentleman
around me,
though I never understood
your motives
for this –
I told you
so many times,
I’d like you to be different
than the rest of them.

And they all were way too polite.

Radial bone
makes me so obediently weak,
when you press it against
my throat –
so much better
than anyone else’s fingers
grabbing my neck,
because you know
I can never obey the urge
to resist you.

You asked me if I’m close,
while my eyes questioned
why do you like me so,
and when the sticky sweat
was licked
off my lips
with a proud exclamation
of release,
all I could mouth to you
was,
how
would
you
like
your
eggs
tomorrow morning,
darling?

– Chatty Owl –

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BIRTHMARK

Faint smirk.
Hair up.
I hide away
in your over-sized shirt –
it’s all buttons
down the front.
Open.

I have no wish to do them up.

You notice my bones
and decide to force-feed me
compliments
about the colour of my skin,
that apparently
always fascinated you –
it’s creamy beige
with two distinctive birth marks.

You only saw one of them.

I flick
thin pages of the notebook
and see your fingers
tapping
a silent melody
on my coffee table.
I’d like to tell you to
quit it,
but it reminds me
of those better days,
when I craved
those fingers
to leave
little
pinky
bruises
on my hips.
This is why
I don’t stop you
from making me
drift off
into those
memories –
you tease me with them
and I tease you
by crossing my legs
in front of your face.

Cliche,
but you always bite your lip
uncontrollably,
when you accidentally see
what’s between them.

Let’s fight the silent war
of a mutual arousal.

– Chatty Owl –

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NOT SO LONELY SATURDAY

I forget names of lovers
and reasons why we got together,
letting my memories fade
into a petal-thin
black and white photographs
that I hang on a fishing rod
and use it as a bait
to attract new victims.

Nothing is more alluring to a man
than a failure of another one.

Patterns on my dress
swirl into never-ending stories
that I used to hear from others,
but anytime I find photos of lovers’ faces,
I’m struggling to remember all the reasons
for our abrupt goodbyes.

I know they were willing to give me
all the lust they had,
but I had nowhere to store
this overflow of love,
so I had to compensate my guilt
with words,
that were untrue,
yet they made us feel better
and by far
less awkward.

Sometimes
I list names of men
that kissed me on my lips
and compare them with the ones
that only kissed my forehead,
(like the father that I never had).
Or the ones,
that thought
the taste of my inner thighs
will make them more secure
about
what I think of them.

Six glasses of wine
and
all these words
turned into
a poem,
that
you
wont
read.

– Chatty Owl –

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MOONLIGHT SONATA

I’m not the one to make my eyes melt into tears, while thinking about the past, but sometimes I sit back with a strong whiskey in my hand and remember those moments, that made my lips curl up in a smile. The drink burns my throat the same way my mind is burning ties to all the men I used to know. Or fuck.

Moonlight Sonata was always this one melody that made my eyes well up. In a happy way. Every time I listen to it, my whole body is flooded with an unexplainable inspiration, with an urge to write, create, do anything but ignore. Once in a while I’m reminded of this masterpiece (usually by accident), but it makes me smirk, remembering, how I learned to love it that much.

It was a long time ago. There was this boy, who fancied my green eyes, enough for him to stalk out little personal details about me just to please me. He was such a talented little fucker and his fingers created magic with the black and white keys of the piano. I was never the romantic type, but he managed to persuade me to stay on the phone with him for hours and hours one warm summer night, while I listened to him playing Moonlight Sonata on the loop.

It was magical. As were his fingers inside me the day after and his heart in my hand a while later. I was touched by his purity and devotion to please me, but he had to pay the price by watching his loving heart being shattered to pieces.

The Moonlight Sonata is one of the most beautiful memories I have.

– Chatty Owl –

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THE PAST

You told me,
that my hands are always cold.
Especially my fingertips.
I blamed it on the weather
and
the foggy air of moody London,
but we both knew,
this is just how I am.

Icy.

You tried
to cunningly defrost my soul
and make my thoughts
all thawed and leaking water,
but
all it did,
was built defences higher
and suddenly
all doors got shut.

A heavy weight of a padlock.

You questioned everything
that popped into your head –
sincerity of my moving lips,
the truthfulness in my eyes,
the husky voice
and my motives.

True or false.

I played with strands of my hair,
to compliment
my misleading nervous answers,
while your orders
got more strict by a second,
creating waves of insecurity.
We played a game,
all back and forth,
tossing each others hearts
into the air.

Sky-high.

In the end,
there were only words left to play with,
so this is why I write.
Like this.

– Chatty Owl –

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A PLACE UNDER A MOON

Can’t.
You just can’t
see my green eyes,
when I close them
in that moment of
you pleasuring me
with your words,
because I don’t want you
to see
the broken bones
inside me,
while I mouth your name
and think of another.
Secret words
were losing thrill
as they became
pronounced too often
and when even more secrets
came out,
I just wanted to leave
the room,
the street,
the city,
but most of all,
I wanted you to leave my heart.
You spun me round
to screw hard
with my head
and those faint promises
were all lined up,
like soldiers
against the nazi wall,
that wasn’t strong enough
to hold the weight of our sins
(that you didn’t even consider serious!)
and everything went collapsing
in front of my green eyes,
that couldn’t cry
anymore.

– Chatty Owl –

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JUNE 7TH

Today.
A day, marked in my calendar.
Anticipated, waited, dreamt of.
It had to be the day,
when your arms and hugs
were my only clothes
and
your kisses was the only thing
I eat.
Today.
My hands had to be resting
on your hips
as I try to reach your heart
with my words,
whispered in the air…
Today.
It’s the only day
of a painful reminder,
that the only thing
that makes me dizzy to the core
is not your scent,
but cheap red wine
inside a glass
I cracked this morning.

– Chatty Owl –