SUNRISE IN JAPAN

I had to change my name,
because my face didn’t fit your hands
as it used to
and when you kissed me,
there were no sparks to prove,
that we are in love.
I like the thought of you
(un)dressed on my bed,
but it’s not easy for me
to hang my clothes
on your peg of honesty,
so I just throw them on the floor –
the same place, where
you used to tell me,
how you enjoy the smell
of my just-washed hair.
You write prose about your past
and I (un)write poems about the future,
because I don’t have one.
I want to stare at your face
all three hundred minutes
and no breaks,
but I still won’t be able to see
past that mask of yours
and guess the name
of your first girlfriend.
Sometimes I drag my nails
across walls and floorboards
trying to find that perfect word
to describe
how much I want to hate you,
but it takes three seconds
to find a web of words
to express the emotion I have
for your blue eyes, that
are not blue after-all.
Creative monsters live in walls
of my bedroom,
but only on those days,
when you’ve slept in my bed
and left socks on the stairs –
like a reminder,
that you will crawl back
inside my mind again.
Like a snake in the grass.
Like my hand in your pants.
I wear a shirt with no bra
and I drink coffee with no sugar,
but I cover my eyes in front of strangers
and I disguise whiskey in my coffee,
when the clock strikes 7 in the morning,
because
this is the time,
when people have lunch in Japan
and I like eating in good company.
With strangers.
You told me to quit lying,
but I never even tried
doing it,
so don’t patronise me about things
I have not intended to do,
until you offered
and
I slipped.

– Chatty Owl –

ENOUGH

Enough.
The flashbacks of the past,
like ghosts,
reflected in the mirrors of today…
They’re forcing me to see
the image
I so long to put behind me.
The crush.
The lust.
The so called love…
Emotions, that have never had a label on them…
They do come back,
when I expect them not to
and I’m so tired
of this constant struggle
of compete,
that my whole soul just wants to shout,
and scream,
and yell

Enough!
Enough of this!
Enough…
Let’s break the silence,
like we used to break each other.
It’s time to be above all this
and let each other live.
In peace.

– Chatty Owl –