My limbs are numb –
your ropes left scars
on my wrists and ankles,
my mind is senseless –
a callused heart,
once pumping love,
now replaced it with hate.
We exchanged words of affection
with anticipation of being happy together,
yet the reality was brutal,
and your hands took more to bruising
than they ever did to taking care of me.
Your fingers pulled my hair
and scratched a branded mark,
as if I was your territory,
when all I wanted to do,
was to feel your warm pulse on my lips,
that throbbed in the rhythm of love.
How naive and submissive I was
to think that desire is measured
in bruised ribs
and the amount of pain I am able to stand.
Like a spider, you crawled on top of me,
depriving me breath,
and when I died in your arms,
it wasn’t a poetic reflection
of love and devotion –
it was the murder of my soul.

– Chatty Owl –

58 Replies to “CALLUS”

  1. i have been reading your work – current to past – scrolling backward through my reader. I have many things to say – but mostly i have this – you have a way of writing many things i feel and see – but you write in a way i cannot. sometimes i wish that i could, but then again it would not be me. you are like a voice i cannot speak. beautiful writing.

  2. A click of a button cannot express how much this made me sit and think, as others have said beautiful, sad and dark. My eyes burn from the few tears I secretly shed to this. x

  3. Very dark and heartbreaking, but written so wonderfully, Chatty.

    I’m not sure of any lines that can be darker then these:
    “Like a spider, you crawled on top of me,
    depriving me breath,”

    1. Thank you. I just thought, how many people get scared and short of breath because if such a little (in comparison to us) creature.. And yet, it affects us so much.

  4. Humblest apologies lovely, for my late reply..been a little snowed under not in white cold stuff either. I read this the night you posted and the image in the line
    Like a spider, you crawled on top of me – well can I simply say that stuck in my head the last few days and how brilliant you have described the pain of the abused.
    Exquisite writing once again.

    1. Oh that’s ok, it takes time for me to get back to people’s comments and go through my reader too πŸ™‚ so all is good πŸ™‚
      As always, im so pleased you enjoy my little ramblings πŸ™‚

    1. That’s what you have Debbie – a beautiful believing heart that I’m so envious of. In a good way, not green-eyes-jealousy πŸ™‚ thank you for being so sweet.

  5. The tiniest of embers in panic hidden
    buried deep, long thought surrendered
    gently the wind, a breath a whisper
    elicits feelings and hope rekindles

  6. You are as brilliant as you are beautiful your words almost bring tears to my eyes for what may have been and for what is. Life and your place in it is always a choice you make and your pain is also your passion. Deep feelings make for deep feelings but life just rambles on like old friends.

    1. Im far from being brilliant and you are far off with your compliments… I told you in the past, i think when you write, i get jealous of how well you portray your emotions. Im struggling with that sometimes. So i have a lot to learn and improve…

    2. The mutual admiration society has got to stop. I am right and you are fucked up. No one portrays emotion and has such an amazing grasp of imagery as you. No one is as emotional as you either. Temper tantrum over my love? Que Bella la luna again?

    3. I cant be mad at you forever πŸ™‚ temper tantrum over for sure, i’ll chill and stop acting crazy. Que bella la luna.. I like your foreign tongue.

  7. If I were S.W. May I would say “of course.” Again a poem that stops one dead in the thinking track. “Who, what , when , where, and why do all these words apply?”

    1. I like it when I know my words left someone wondering about things… Having questions of what, where and who πŸ™‚
      And if anything i write makes one to stretch across oceans, that’s an even more thrilling thought πŸ˜‰

  8. Sometimes you write and I don’t find any words to express how deeply your words hit me. This piece carries dripping blood and so I LOVED it.

  9. Don’t be cruel,
    it’s not sadness what I look,
    to love is all you can do,
    no matter you’re not kind,
    please stand behind
    on me,
    I’ve stopped to be a fool.

  10. Ive always been curious if the soul can be completely destroyed or just weakened to the point that it ceases to function properly, leaving us almost blank without empathy or compassion or the ability or capacity to really love. I guess my thought is that if its only weakened then it can be strengthened again but if destroyed then its gone forever which means the evil that fills the void is permanent.

  11. You know I love your endings but I’ll say it again…LOVE!
    Though I think the death of one’s soul can be as poetic in both love and hate…no? Coz that’s exactly what you’ve done πŸ˜‰

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