I miss you
and the memory
that never happened.
I refused an image of you,
because I knew it will haunt me like
a pirate’s curse.
I’m under your spell,
without you knowing.
I’d like a war, a battle,
that’s more feisty than today,
because right now,
I fight alone,
and you are nowhere near this field.
I want to find you
in the crowd of strangers,
at the station,
and fall to the ground
like a descending autumn colour,
to ask for your forgiveness
once again.
And again.
And a thousand times more.
I played my life
as fair as I could these years,
but nothing came close to wanting
to belong to you
so much.
– Chatty Owl –
I really love the longing in this one. So passionate. *sigh*
Another Wow, Chatty! You conveyed “yearning” perfectly; it’s as though I could feel it! Oh, I’m sure many can relate to your words…have a lovely weekend!
Lauren
Thanks Lauren! It’s so nice to see your avatar popping on my notifications! The weekend was good actually, as you suggested! Thanks! How are things with you?
And now another weekend is almost here, which is nice…life is good, without going into great detail here! π My book will finally be out later this month, which is the big excitement for me and my family right now! Anyway, wishing you a lovely day and keep writing! I may be slow in getting over here, but I won’t miss your amazing talent! xx π
“Serene”
Too serene is the night
Of the moon and the stars
But to die in the lights
Of the streets and the cars.
How sad, the beauty of nature buried in the noise of city life! I like both though. It’s just that we can’t have both at the same time.
So, you are an owl.
I can feel your loneliness in fighting for something that probably no one will ever understand. I am sort of happy for you to have known someone to whom you want to belong, whoever that is. That person could be fictional, for most poets and singers are like that.
Technically, I like the fact that certain semantic contrasts are employed throughout the poem to reflect your struggles, which produce the effect of resonance as we read through the lines, such as “the memory that never happened,” being “under your spell, without you knowing,” to “find you in the crowd of strangers,” and having “played my life as fair as I could these years, but nothing came close to wanting
to belong to you so much,” where the end points out the reason why the previous semantic contrasts are used, which lead to this conclusion.
I am addicted to the technicality of poetry, so I hope to see more of your works coming out at this blog.
Where do I start replying to this! Well, thank you for taking time and leaving such a long and in-depth comment. I’m always thankful to people that “waste” their time giving me feedback on my poems. For that I’m going to say a big thank you to you.
More works are to come and I’m looking forward roaming through your blog in return.
Well, I copied the poem from my blog, so it took no time. My feedback is no more than a filter through your poem to make a point. I forgot to eliminate a line break after “close to wanting,” for example. It took no time, either. However, it did take me a bit of time reading through your poem to relive your experience, which somehow felt very real. Well, I can’t tell if it’s fictional or not, almost. So, that’s that.
I actually like it naked with your poetry, that is, without any syntactic technicality. It’s more real and natural with you. You seem to have a lot to say each and every day. It could be too suffocating for you to write sonnets. Content matters.
Content always matters.
Gosh, if September looks like that I’ll never fathom such a beautiful yet terrible emotional immersion ! Exquisitely explored! xo
wow, just wow!
Ana, thank you so much!
*scans comments* Nothing more to be said other than bravo! Thanks for sharing – Cheerz J
*big smiles*
Well, don’t be a stranger!
Thanks – I will be back to lurk within your very crowded house of followers!
Dont let that bother you π
I will try not to be intimidated! By the way – this ramble was based on an encounter with an Owl. And a bit more… http://jamieb2013.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/never-cared-for-games-they-play/
Smiling.
Gorgeous.
Raw and emotional.
Breathtaking.
Thanks. Sometimes I surprise myself.
So beautiful, Ms Owl. Reading your poetry is like listening to raindrops. Mesmerizing
I like listening to raindrops. It’s like tears that are not mine, but i’m showered in them – very emotional! π
Makes one wish to be the object of ” wanting to belong to you
so much.” Very nice.
Makes me smile to know that someone would think that while reading my poem π thank you so much for being so charming.
*smile*
Captivating poem and what a stunning photograph. Great work, Chatty Owl.
Thanks π that was a nice compliment to wake up to.
Wonderfully expressed words of reflection and pining….
in the darkness of the night
beneath a duvet all of white
our hands recited sonnets on our skin
our faces can’t be seen
whispering words we’ll never mean
I ask if I will see you once again
we know that come the dawn
I”ll arise to find you gone
wondering of the power of our dreams
The sensation, when the butterfly of the night disappears in the morning, must be similar to the evaporating dreams as soon as the sunshine hits corners of the window.
Such a beautiful response, my dear. Thank you.
is that you in the picture ?
Yes it is.
captivating
Why, thank you…
some things cannot be denied. π
Flattery again. Im not immune to it π
doesn’t the sun deserve the praise of the dawn ?
Thats put in a very nice way π
π
Beautiful! And great picture to accompany the words! π
Thanks! Big smiles! π
You are very welcome!! π
speechless here (almost)
great writing
Drawn in by the
“memory that never happened” .
Respect!
Thank you once again… π
You have cut right down to the essence of such a complex and powerful emotion in such an effortless way that your words transcend time and space; they flow off the screen pouring deep inside the soul where they are not just understood but felt in a way that is beyond comprehension. You are truly an artist, unmatched by few and surpassed by none!
See? Comments like yours give me such a boost, i start thinking too good of myself π
Thanks dear π
It’s truly my pleasure and there’s no such thing as thinking too much of yourself, just not thinking enough π
You reckon? π
I know! π
Oh gosh. Oh gosh! This is the feeling I’ve been wishing to write but never could. Thank you for putting it into words!
π your comment made me smile π im glad you liked my words! Gosh! π
A piece I can feel from deep down inside. It defines me in ways I wish it did not but does….. Anyway. xx
Sometimes a slightly negative emotion is needed. Evoked from deep inside.
Thanks for stopping by, dear.
Really good one.
Thank you. Sometimes it comes out good.
Sometimes ? … Your works are amazing, dear.
Thanks. You’re nice to me.
This piece is such an Italian opera, all raw emotions and tragedy wrapped in astonishing beauty.
And your comment is singing praises to my heart. Appealingly! Thanks π
even fighting alone in a “crowd of strangers,” you discover how to praise, as any real and very fine poet must. achingly beautiful. x tony
Thank you. As a poet, i often struggle, so im glad at these moments, when i see my message has been received the way i wanted π
You are ever so kind, Tony x
Superb! Loved this part especialy:”I want to find you
in the crowd of strangers,
at the station,
and fall to the ground
like a descending autumn colour,”
π darling, you always make me smile. Your comments are so honest, i always feel so appreciated when you stop by π
I agree with every one’s comments Ms. Owlβ¦you certainly took me right back to a relationship where I felt that way, much honesty in this write lovely. x
Thank you… If you could relate, it means i wrote it well π thats a great praise to me π
Then take it as the compliment that was intended π
Wow. This is raw, yet so delicately conveyed. Emotional, compelling, connecting. I feel you through your words.
Thank you. Knowing how good you are with your words, I’ll take this as an honest compliment.
As well you should Miss Owl. This life is too hard already without complicting it with empty words and false affection.
Thats true. And too short to indulge in false emotions.
the sense of yearning is palpable – touches compassionate chords in me – the haunting image is perfectly suited
To have the power to touch people’s hearts is a good one to hold on to. Thank you.
Beautiful image and also the poem ……………. creative and expressive.
…….Magical autumn
Soul.
Thanks Soul… Magical autumn indeed.
So sensual. I almost cried while reading π¦
Oh π¦ i dont want to evoke tears…
Wow! Raw! Loved the entire depicted outpouring specially these lines –
“I want to find you
in the crowd of strangers,
at the station,
and fall to the ground
like a descending autumn colour,
to ask for your forgiveness
once again.”
Thanks…. Raw? Definitely. Then again, the majority of my poems are, as you know.
Thanks for being so nice to me.
Thank you for being so expressive. π By the way I dropped you an email.
Swoon!
And perfect picture to match π
So so damn good owly
Thanks… Weekends are for being creative!
Indeed!